How single, gay man became first in Victoria allowed to have a baby via surrogate: ‘This is huge’
Victorian man Shaun Resnik hasn’t stopped smiling since finding out the news he is about to become a dad.
Single, gay and in his 40s, Shaun’s journey to fatherhood has not been a traditional one.
In fact, Shaun is understood to be the first single man in Victoria to be given the go-ahead by officials under the state’s surrogacy laws.
‘This is huge! It’s time society got to see single gay men as dads,’ Shaun tells 7Life.
With the aid of a “beautiful” pair of friends, Carla – who has agreed to be his surrogate – and Bree – his egg donor – the naturopath’s dreams of becoming a father are now a reality.
He can’t wait to meet his unborn baby boy, due in April next year.
“I have always wanted to be a dad, I just didn’t know how I was going to make it possible,” Shaun says.
‘First I met Carla’
On paper, Shaun’s surrogacy journey has been three years long, but for the dad-to-be, fatherhood has always been in the cards.
Shaun was first introduced to Carla through the surrogacy program. She was pregnant with a same-sex couple’s child, and Shaun was an “intended parent”.
But it was never intended that Carla would become part of Shaun’s personal surrogacy path – with the program partnering the two to support each other through their separate journeys instead.
However, Shaun believes the two were long-lost “besties” with the duo “instantly hitting it off” during their first meeting.
For two and a half years, Carla watched Shaun endure endless roadblocks as he yearned to become a dad.
“She watched me go through three other surrogate journeys,” Shaun says sadly.
The first surrogate pulled out of the process after she reconnected with an old flame and the second and third couldn’t go through with the surrogacy for personal reasons.
After each setback Shaun headed overseas to “overcome the pain and get my mind and heart back on track.”
But he never lost sight of the end goal, to become a dad.
Then out of the blue Carla turned to Shaun: “Hey, do you want me to carry your baby?” she asked him.
While Shaun was blown away by Carla’s generosity he admits he always knew she was “the one” to bring his child into the world.
‘Then Bree came along’
A year ago Shaun met Bree – already a mum of two – and she agreed to donate her eggs.
“We instantly had this beautiful connection,” Shaun says, adding she has become one of his closest friends.
“When I play with her boys I get so excited because I am hanging out with my baby’s future brothers!” Shaun smiles.
The trio, who were once strangers, are now permanently joined in parenthood.
Shaun can’t wait to become a dad, but for now he is sharing his story to help others in minority groups reach for their goals.
“I’m single, gay and in my 40s, there’s no hiding now,” Shaun laughs.
Humbled by the attention, he recalls one woman who thanked him for paving the way: “Her grandchild is gay and she just thanked me.”
For Shaun, it’s the support from friends, family and even strangers that make this “the cherry on the cake”.
With advancements in IVF and surrogacy, children are no longer off the cards for those who find themselves single later in life.
“I just want single people to give it a go – don’t wait to get your ducks in a line, there are no ducks! The ducks are usually all over the shop.
“Make your own magic, make your own magic ducks!” Shaun laughs. “Anything is possible.”
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